...over the head with that shovel.

Gee, I don't know who THAT "Ricky" was. Little fucker is trying to impersonate me! The nerve (lol)!

I can see why you guys say it gets a little confusing sometimes. "Will the real Slim Shady please stand up!"

What would be a real dream for me is if my sister and Trevor would someday leave. The horrible psychological, emotional, and spiritual abuse that my sister has been through at the hands of my deranged mother has hurt me the most of just about anything. And now with Trevor, it's starting all over again.

Here's a Christmas PR note that Elixcia (her name was "Nicole" or "Nikki" before) and I recieved last December. Have your barf-bags handy, cause most of it is so fucking sick!

One funny thing, though, is that sometimes when files are saved in Word for Windows, little notes are kept from different saves that don't seem to be there in the final document, and one of those showed up in the BS letter they wrote us.

For a while, every outgoing file from my mom's place would always be saved in RTF format to prevent that from happeing. But they got a bit sloppy about that in recent years. That note is included in the beginning of the file, just as it appeared in our copy when using a text viewer.

"Jacki" is "Pearl" from the letter "Love is the Most Important Thing". I believe the person who wrote the short note is Joni, a.k.a. Sherry. I forgot her other names, but she's Miguel's mom (formerly Miguel of Cherish of John P.I.) She is one of the most insane Jesus-fuckers there is and was one of Mama Maria's closest advisors when I was there.

Of course, you already probably knew that judging from her response to James Penn's "No Regrets".

One thing that surprised us both is how cheesy and PR sounding this letter way--complete with little poems and weirdness. We came from there not too long ago so why all the powder puff nonsense, BS and silly little nonsense shit? Maybe they were trying to prep it for being put out for the world to see. Well, sure enough, that's just what happened.

Ok! Enjoy!

HI, Jacki, iLY! Here is the note bck. I only made a couple of very small suggestions in revisions. I was wondering, though, am I imagining it or did we hear recently that Nicole is pregnant!? If so, then it would be good for Mama to mention that early on in the letter. I guess someone who communicates with Nicky would know...maybe Syd or Renee or someone. I can't for the life of me remember where I heard that. Anyway..these are my only suggestions and I didn't get any checks about any security problems.

To Pete and Nicole, from Mama—17/12/2001

Dear Pete and Nicole,

Hi, kids! I hope you’re well and having a happy Christmas season. I love you very much and miss you and wish we could hear more from you.

I hope you got a nice Christmas tree. A lighted Christmas tree always is so cheery and is a little touch of the Lord's love.

One of the folks here is making a manger scene out of paper mache and then he’s going to paint it. The thing about manger scenes, you can make them out of almost anything, and they can be very miniature or even life-size.

I don't think the kids are getting into too many arts and crafts this Christmas, but they are practicing a little program to sing to everybody on Christmas. They have got motions to go with them and they’re even "helping" to make some costumes.—Well, at least they’re happy to try them on and give their opinions.—Ha! They’re singing "What can I give Him, as small as I am? If I were a shepherd, I'd give Him a lamb. If I were a wise man, I'd do my part. I know what I'll give Him, I'll give Him my heart." They’ll also sing, "Jesus Our Saviour, Kind and Good". Trevor has a very good voice and can carry a tune well, but the two little girls get off key fairly easy. They’re also going to quote the little poem "The Legend". Do you know that one? I don't think I ever heard it until they were talking about quoting it. It goes:

There's a beautiful legend that's never been told.
It may have been known to the wise men of old
How three little children came early at dawn,
with hearts that were sad, to where Jesus was born.
One could not see, one was too lame to play;
while the other, a mute, not a word could he say.
Yet led by His star, they came there to peep
at the little Lord Jesus, with eyes closed in sleep.
But how could the Christ child, so lovely and fair,
not waken and smile when He heard their glad prayer
of hope at His coming, of faith at His birth,
of praise at His bringing God's peace to the earth.
And then as the light softly came through the door,
the lad that was lame stood upright once more;
the boy that was mute started sweetly to sing,
while the child that was blind looked with joy on his King!

You know how Trevor has had a hard time obeying his mother, even though he loves her dearly? Well, Dawn ASCRO was here with us for a while and she tuned into the kids and tried to help Trevor do better in that area. He gave a prayer request that he wanted to send around to the whole home, and shortly after that he made a marked improvement. Of course, it’s a little up and down and he needs frequent reminders, but he really does seem to be doing better, thank the Lord.

Here’s what his prayer request was: Please pray for me because I really need prayer, because it’s hard to stop being bad for my mom, because I don't obey right away and I don't do it, the things I am supposed to do. I want to learn not to be bad for my mom. I learn and really try, but it’s hard to break this habit. I know that if I just try hard it won’t take so long. So please pray for me that I can do God’s work, even if it’s hard for me. School is actually work. It’s not easy to break habits and I need prayer that I won’t get down and contrary. This way, tomorrow I will do better than today, and it will get to be fun to do school once I break the habits of not pressing in obeying or making it easy for my mom. Bye.

Well, Trevor is working on obeying his mom, and I'm working on trying to lose weight!—Obeying the Lord, too!—Of course! But recently, to my shock, I realised I had put on a lot of weight, which I never had to be concerned about before. So now it’s not just Peter trying to lose it, but I'm trying to as well, so at least we can work on it together. I put on my jeans the other day and realized that they wouldn’t zip up all the way anymore, and it was quite a rude awakening! I guess it’s just been too much of all that good stuff that Becky makes for me. I've been eating peanut butter and almond butter balls, yogurt full cream ice cream, and all those other nice things that are so nutritious but obviously are very fattening! And Pete, honey, I miss giving you some of my peanut butter balls! You certainly don't seem to have a problem with gaining too much weight.

I started using Peter’s rower and found that I really like exercising with it more than riding an exercise bike, but I'm going to have to do both—and even more—if I'm going to lose some weight. Boy, keeping up your health is just a constant battle, keeping your weight down and your resistance up and doing all the things we need to do to eat right, sleep right, exercise right and live right, it takes a lot of effort—and time! Hope you guys are well and healthy.

Somebody got me an old aquarium the other day, which I filled with artificial flowers and I'm using it as a night light. I didn’t want to have to worry about feeding fish, or even putting water in it, and I've been quite pleased with the effect. You can put shells or colored stones or almost any pretty things inside and when you turn on the little light inside it really does brighten up the room at night. Of course, people who sleep soundly don't usually need a night light but I wake up frequently during the night and it’s very nice and cheery. I wish you could see it, it’s so pretty.

I'm still having to go to the toe doctor every two to four months. I'm sure glad the Lord has provided a good one for me. I usually really holler but at least it’s over in just a very few minutes and then I can go back to walking around normally. I really pray that eventually it will start growing out right so I won’t have to do this all my life. The doctor said that some people's toenails straighten out after awhile and other people just continue to have the problem. Anyway, thank God for doctors, when you need them. What a blessing! I guess the dentist is next, but that’s not usually as bad, thank You Jesus! Hope you guys aren’t having to visit doctors very often.

Oh, Peter just today started a series of videos to help in the training of the people who are going to be on the boards. The Lord always anoints him for these kinds of presentations and he did very well. This time he tried something new and used a type of "tele-prompter", setting his computer right under the lens of the video camera and scrolling down the very very large text with a mouse that he operated from his chair. It was quite a revolution and helped him to be able to seem to be looking steadily at the camera without having to be bobbing his head up and down every couple of seconds while reading from a text that he holds in his hand. It’s amazing how well it worked.

Peter just worked on the Year End GN and this time—would you believe it?—it is a whopping 90 pages or so! Well, I guess everybody had so much to report on everything they’ve been doing over the past year, so when all the reports were in it just was monumental!--Besides having in it lot of graphs and charts and pictures.

Well, we're staying very busy, and I know you must be too, but please do try to write once in awhile. We’d really love to hear from you.

Again, a very happy Christmas to both of you! You’re very dear to us and we send lots of love and prayers for a fruitful year to come. You both have a lot of love you can share with others and a lot you can do to make the world a better place.

Loving you always,